Another list...

My fellow Congregant Tim Boucher has a blog. You can find it here. Today's blog was random stuff. In that vein, I have decided to make my own list of random stuff. Here goes:

• My daughters have the greatest smiles. I love seeing them smile.



• My son, Tobey, has an awesome smile. He can light up a room.



• My other son, Edwin, has two smiles: one for when he's happy, the other is for when he thinks of something evil. guess which one he makes more.



• Just watched a movie called "Paul". It is a GREAT movie, written by the same guys who wrote "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz" Not for Kids! But a great movie anyways!



• Christopher Walken would make a lousy therapist. But, incidentally, he would be an amazing hair stylist.



• I love cheese. No back story or anecdote...I love cheese



• I challenge you not to sing along with Twisted Sister's "I wanna Rock!". Go ahead and try it...I'll wait...Now, what do you want to do with your life?



• And while we're on the subject...How many cans of hairspray do you think they went through just for that video?



• Who invented/discovered escargot and caviar? Better yet, who decided that eating snails and fish eggs was a delicacy? I'll stick with my bacon and peanut butter grilled cheese sandwich, thank you



• What kind of person aspires to be a proctologist?



• If there were dinosaurs roaming around the Earth today, would they drive cars knowing that gas is made from the remains of their relatives?



• remember one thing...Little Ceasar's Pizza advertisements are based on the fact that they are hot and ready...delicious never enters into it.

Miss Olivia Grace

So, my wife blogged about our middle child. Miss Olivia Grace Holstein. You can find that blog here. Miss Olivia is by far, our most sensitive and emotional child. She is also the most faithful to her Christianity.

Her favorite book is the Bible. She loves the stories in it. She loves the fact that these stories are our history as a people.

I remember when I was a kid, I used to dream about what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now, I know who I most want to be like, and it's Miss Olivia.

She believes with her whole self. She loves with her whole heart.

So, Happy Birthday, Olivia Grace!!! You are turning into a beautiful young lady!

I thought the Hula ball was bad...

I saw this on a website recently. This guy was either a genius or a neurologist trying to drum up some new business. Incidentally, look at the :14 second mark. If a kid did that in the park nowadays, someone would have to call 911.

#HASHTAGS

If MacGyver was a writer, the hash tag (#) would have been his tool of choice. Nowhere in the English language does a punctuation mark fill so many uses. For example:

# for an accountant means a number…any number
# for a dieter means pounds
# for clarinet players means means the note is sharp
# for trombone players means it’s time to practice my sharp scales
# for drummers means…well nothing.
## for any musician means “the composer was high”
# For anyone born after 2000 means “I just said something clever, here’s how to find it”
# for anyone born before 1990 is the game board for Tic-Tac-Toe
# Also for those born before 1990, # meant a comic book character had recently been beat up or was Pig Pen from Peanuts

Don’t get me started on periods…

My New Year...

Everyone makes New Year's resolutions. I have decided that, this year, instead of making resolutions of things I am not going to do (that is what every new years resolution is), I am going to make a list of things I have always wanted to do..Some are still within my grasp...others, not so much.

1. Start a bar fight with a guy named Sweaty McGhee. Three reasons...for one, he's named sweaty for a reason...that's not his nickname, that's the name his parents gave him...secondly, He's Irish American...and third...Chicks dig scars, and I will almost certainly walk away with a few...


2. Take Bugs Bunny in for transgender counseling. The poor guy obviously has some issues..


3. Shave with a Bowie knife a la Crocodile Dundee...If you don't know who Crocodile Dundee is, then you are too young to know what shaving is, either...


4. Obtain a world's record with my bodily functions. I figure with farting, there would be a category for decibels, smell, timbre, and of course, for the elite farter...texture


5. Eat at Ruth Chris Steakhouse. I figure that this is the least likely to happen on this list, as I am unable to obtain a mortgage to pay for the meal...


6. Have the entire cast of Jersey Shore fight for their lives in Thunderdome. I would bring Andre the Giant back as a zombie to fight them, and ultimately eat their brains...


7. Compete in a horseshoe competition where the horseshoes are still attached to the horses...


8. Destroy the snorks...


9. Live in New York City, but leave before I get too hard...live in Northern California, but leave before I get too soft...wait, that's a line from the sunscreen song...


10. Arm wrestle a midget...I cannot explain why, I just feel the need to do so...


11. Fight with real light sabres...I think this one speaks for itself...


12. High-five Abraham Lincoln and together come up with a secret handshake...there would be chest bumping involved.


13. Punch Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the face...


14. Eat my weight in chili...then, refer to number 4...


15. Get a haircut like Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction...


16. Watch what I want on TV...with my wife...

More to come....

Precious Stones

This weekend, we have the honor and privilege of throwing a Christmas Party for families who have members with special needs. We call ourselves Precious Stones. It is an offshoot of our church, Living Stones.
My wife and I have seven kids, several of which have special needs. My two boys both have autism, and my youngest girl has an undiagnosed genetic condition. Also, did you read the first sentence of this paragraph? My wife and I have seven kids. WE ARE INSANE!
Anyway, back to Precious Stones. Special needs is a cause close to our hearts. And ministering to kids, we feel, is important.
I remember when I was a kid. I was taught by my grandfather to believe in God because God is to be feared. He was very fire and brimstone.
But, God is LOVE! And, Christmas is the celebration of that love. Looking at my kids now, I don't know that I could make the same sacrifice as my Father in Heaven. And, I want kids with special needs and their families to come to a Precious Stones event and walk away with one thing. GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!!
If even one kid walks away knowing that, then we have succeeded!

My favorite Christmas Song