- Start a bar fight with a guy named Sweaty McGhee. Three reasons...for one, he's named sweaty for a reason...that's not his nickname, that's the name his parents gave him...secondly, He's Irish American...and third...Chicks dig scars, and I will almost certainly walk away with a few...
- Take Bugs Bunny in for transgender counseling. The poor guy obviously has some issues..
- Shave with a Bowie knife a la Crocodile Dundee...If you don't know who Crocodile Dundee is, then you are too young to know what shaving is, either...
- Obtain a world's record with my bodily functions. I figure with farting, there would be a category for decibels, smell, timbre, and of course, for the elite farter...texture
- Eat at Ruth Chris Steakhouse. I figure that this is the least likely to happen on this list, as I am unable to obtain a mortgage to pay for the meal...
- Have the entire cast of Jersey Shore fight for their lives in Thunderdome. I would bring Andre the Giant back as a zombie to fight them, and ultimately eat their brains...
- Compete in a horseshoe competition where the horseshoes are still attached to the horses...
- Destroy the snorks...
- Live in New York City, but leave before I get too hard...live in Northern California, but leave before I get too soft...wait, that's a line from the sunscreen song...
- Arm wrestle a midget...I cannot explain why, I just feel the need to do so...
- Fight with real light sabres...I think this one speaks for itself...
- High-five Abraham Lincoln and together come up with a secret handshake...there would be chest bumping involved.
- Punch Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the face...
- Eat my weight in chili...then, refer to number 4...
- Get a haircut like Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction...
- Watch what I want on TV...with my wife...
More to come....
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