My New Year...

Everyone makes New Year's resolutions. I have decided that, this year, instead of making resolutions of things I am not going to do (that is what every new years resolution is), I am going to make a list of things I have always wanted to do..Some are still within my grasp...others, not so much.

1. Start a bar fight with a guy named Sweaty McGhee. Three reasons...for one, he's named sweaty for a reason...that's not his nickname, that's the name his parents gave him...secondly, He's Irish American...and third...Chicks dig scars, and I will almost certainly walk away with a few...


2. Take Bugs Bunny in for transgender counseling. The poor guy obviously has some issues..


3. Shave with a Bowie knife a la Crocodile Dundee...If you don't know who Crocodile Dundee is, then you are too young to know what shaving is, either...


4. Obtain a world's record with my bodily functions. I figure with farting, there would be a category for decibels, smell, timbre, and of course, for the elite farter...texture


5. Eat at Ruth Chris Steakhouse. I figure that this is the least likely to happen on this list, as I am unable to obtain a mortgage to pay for the meal...


6. Have the entire cast of Jersey Shore fight for their lives in Thunderdome. I would bring Andre the Giant back as a zombie to fight them, and ultimately eat their brains...


7. Compete in a horseshoe competition where the horseshoes are still attached to the horses...


8. Destroy the snorks...


9. Live in New York City, but leave before I get too hard...live in Northern California, but leave before I get too soft...wait, that's a line from the sunscreen song...


10. Arm wrestle a midget...I cannot explain why, I just feel the need to do so...


11. Fight with real light sabres...I think this one speaks for itself...


12. High-five Abraham Lincoln and together come up with a secret handshake...there would be chest bumping involved.


13. Punch Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the face...


14. Eat my weight in chili...then, refer to number 4...


15. Get a haircut like Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction...


16. Watch what I want on TV...with my wife...

More to come....

Precious Stones

This weekend, we have the honor and privilege of throwing a Christmas Party for families who have members with special needs. We call ourselves Precious Stones. It is an offshoot of our church, Living Stones.
My wife and I have seven kids, several of which have special needs. My two boys both have autism, and my youngest girl has an undiagnosed genetic condition. Also, did you read the first sentence of this paragraph? My wife and I have seven kids. WE ARE INSANE!
Anyway, back to Precious Stones. Special needs is a cause close to our hearts. And ministering to kids, we feel, is important.
I remember when I was a kid. I was taught by my grandfather to believe in God because God is to be feared. He was very fire and brimstone.
But, God is LOVE! And, Christmas is the celebration of that love. Looking at my kids now, I don't know that I could make the same sacrifice as my Father in Heaven. And, I want kids with special needs and their families to come to a Precious Stones event and walk away with one thing. GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!!
If even one kid walks away knowing that, then we have succeeded!

My favorite Christmas Song

The Holiday Post

I love the holiday season. I love Thanksgiving. I love Hanukkah. I love Christmas and New Year's. I even love Festivus!

With that being said, there are some things I don't like.

• Egg nog. I like my eggs hard boiled or fried. Not in a nog, whatever that is.




• Dog poop. You would think that it being the holiday season, the dog would take a break or, at least, eat less fiber. On the contrary, I think my dog is eating Mexican every night.




• Solemn Christmas songs. I think they have their place in the season, however, if a radio station decides on a Christmas song only format, they should be required to play "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" at least every other hour. I love my grandma, but the thought of her getting run over by a reindeer makes me laugh.




• "Baby it's cold outside". Don't get me wrong, when i first heard the Bing Crosby version, I loved the classical feel. But, listen to the words. He's a guy who doesn't know that no means no. He even goes so far as to try and slip her a mickey in her drink. Geesh!!!




• Keeping Christ in Christmas. I love Jesus. But, for heaven's sake, the people behind this movement are the same people who think holding hands in church is forbidden. Lighten up, it's the holidays for more than just you!




• People who write, or worse, type Xmas. Really? You are so lazy you can't put forth the extra 1 second to write the 5 letters? Christ is an easy word to type. If it wasn't, then why is it in the Bible so much?




• People who rant about stuff they don't like at Christmas time. Yeah, I see the irony.




• Gingerbread Houses. The "cookies" they use to make those could actually be used in the construction of a real house. And the only thing royal about royal icing is that it is a royal pain in the (censored) to work with!




• Toy companies. My kids don't pay attention to commercials one iota until November. Then, they want EVERY toy on EVERY commercial they see! True story: I didn't know until yesterday that there was Dora the Explorer Kitchen set. Which, apparently is the hot toy of the season.




• Smurfs...no particular reason...

With that being said, I do love Christmas, and I love to celebrate the birth of my personal saviour, Jesus Christ! If I don't get to tell you in person, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, and may your feats of strength (Festivus) be many!