Unfinished?! What the *bleep*

I would just like to clarify, first and foremost, that I have never been a part of the United states armed Forces. Not now, not ever. I have the utmost respect for our servicemen and women across the globe. However, I enjoy food entirely too much to be in any kind of physical shape to serve in the armed forces.
That being said, I must make a public confession. I cuss like a sailor. I don't even know how much a sailor cusses or what kind of words a sailor uses. And, what if it's a deaf sailor? To my knowledge, there is only one cuss word in sign language, and it's universal.
I don't mean to cuss so much. I have tried like a son of a b...sorry, there I go again. I have tried really hard not to swear. I believe the longest I have gone is a week.
That's not to say I didn't use replacement swears.
"son of a gun!"
"What the F?!"
"Aw, vegetarian chili!"
What is it about human beings that we require the use of expletives in our daily lives?
I think it comes down to cavemen. There is only so much communication to be achieved by various grunts and snorts. After a while, you start sounding like a dumbed down version of the smurfs.
"What the smurf is going on here?!"
"Who smurf do you smurf you are?"
"Smurf my smurf, you smurfin smurf"
I think that what probably happened sounds an awful lot like this...
Caveman # 1...We'll call him Frank: *grunt grunt**snort*pft!* ( the pft represents frank having gas.)
Caveman # 2, we'll call her Ellen: *primal scream* --she pinches her nose *grunt grunt**scream* "that S#!T stinks!!!!

Or not....