Nobody tells you...

There are three rules every father must live by.

1. Keep my baby off the pole...this rule, instituted by Chris Rock, has and will hold true through the ages.
2. Mom is the smartest person in the whole world. She is ALWAYS right.
3. Never own a gun, or you will shoot the first boy who comes calling for your oldest daughter.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I want my daughter to get married and have babies. When she's in her forties. Right now, she is 14. I knew this day was coming. And maybe I am making too big a deal out of it.

But her boyfriend is going to, at the very minimum, have to be psychologically tortured. In fact, I never approved of water boarding, but we cannot let the terrorists win. And I am terrified.